Updated: Jul 21, 2022
… I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again, here I go again
OK..... don't tell me you didn't start singing the legendary Whitesnake song immediately when you read the title! Had to start off and lighten my mood a little after the last disappointing results. But also.... the lyrics, so true!
Editor note: It has been a long while since I updated this blog. Many of the following posts were sitting my my drafts for the last 10 months and I just never got around to updating! I will date each post accordingly as to where I was in my journey. Apologies for my absence.
Take a Break
After getting 18 eggs and ZERO embryos on my first IVF retrieval in May, I wanted to take some time off and let my body recover. After the PGT-A results after my retrieval I felt sad, angry, frustrated, fat and my body just felt different. The weight kept piling on and I spiralled for a bit and then picked myself up and decided to live a little. Afterall, it was summertime!
Come August however, I was finally ready to try a second time. I had 1 vial of my donor sperm #5514 left and it was time.
On the 26th, I went in for my Cycle Day 2 testing, which of course was another trans vaginal ultrasound and bloodtest. Yippee, said no one ever.
But great news, we could see a bunch of follicles again (choc chip cookies!) and I was given the all clear to start my second retrieval process.
Injections? Easy peasy.
I started with the same dose as my first round of IVF. Follistim 225 IU and Menopur 75 IU every evening. Adding in Ganerillex on day 4.
I didn't even blink or think twice this time when it came to injecting myself or mixing up the potions. Compare this video to my first round and it looks like I don't even think about it!
From August 26th to September 3rd I continued with the injections as usual.
September 4th were my trigger shots.
Luckily my retrieval was early this time around so I didn't have to wait forever while fasting. I was set for a 8:30am procedure. Once again, I felt like a full term pregnant person, due to the cramps and severe bloating. It really is a cruel twist of fate. This time around, it seemed way worse. I not only looked pregnant, i walked like I was pregnant!
My turn came around after signing my life away again and answering the questions as usual. Walked into the procedure room, laid down, had a joke with the anesthesiologist that was very similar to my first time around. I said I was going to dream of the beach in Australia and then in 10-9-8-7-.......... I was out.
It went just like clockwork and nothing different from the previous time except I had a different doctor.
I woke up in the recovery room and waited for the doctor to come in and tell me the results. Once again demolishing all of the snacks and drinks that were provided.
14 eggs retrieved!
4 less eggs than last time, but still a good result. I was just about to turn 41 so I wasn't too upset about it. We had only seen about 10 in the ultrasound.
I got the call the next day that 13 eggs were mature but only 7 of them fertilized successfully. I was pretty gutted, not off to a great start here. Already losing 50% of my eggs in the first 24 hours. Next came the long wait to see how many continued to grow and make it to day 5 or 6 blastocyst (a rapidly dividing ball of cells that become the embryo).
I celebrated my birthday while waiting for the results. My best friend flew over from LA and it made it really easy to forget about it all this time around. We had such a good time and I really let loose as we partied all over New York City. Fuck it, it was done and was now just a waiting game. May as well try and forget! Although, between the bloating and constipation, I didn't exactly feel amazing but we still had a blast (see what I did there?!).
September 13th, I get the call from the doc with not so good news.
I only had 2 embryos that made it to day 5. Wow, exactly the same result as last time. It was like a kick in the guts..... again. Knowing my odds were not in my favour here, as I was sending them off for Preimplantation Genetic Testing again. Being (now) 41 and based on my last results, I really wanted to best possible chance.
Embryo testing (PGT-A)
On September 27th, the devastating call came again. I got ZERO embryos that were normal again.
ROUND 2 IS ANOTHER BUST
The IVF Pyramid